Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
