Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
