Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
