Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize