why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
