he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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