I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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