I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
