Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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