i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
