somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
