Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
