We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
