its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
