i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
