Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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