The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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