Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
