A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Green mimosas i think yes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
