I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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