so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
