Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
