We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
