you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize