He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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