Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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