His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
