Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
