I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
