Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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