Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
