Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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