Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
