he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
