I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
