i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
