ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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