I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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