Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
