their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
