the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
