I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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