I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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