Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize