her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
