Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is Oprah even human
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
