you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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