Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
