Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
