Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
