I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
