The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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