he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
