Swine flu. Run for my life!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Floor bacon is actually really good
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
tell me about the fingering
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