He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
organizing the empties. That sober.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
