this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is Oprah even human
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
