Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
