she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
